Steve Jobs was indeed a hero, and was a remarkable and multifaceted man. But when I hear people say, “There’s nothing he didn’t do,” I have to take issue with that.  For nobody can do everything. Let’s stay grounded in that fact. Here, for your edification, is a list of

THINGS STEVE JOBS DID NOT DO

  • Break world record for consuming most corn-dogs in a single weekend
  • Give college commencement address while wearing a shaving cream bikini.
  • Go big game hunting at the San Diego Zoo
  • Invent the Printing Press. (That was Johannes Gutenberg in 1439)
  • Soil his spacesuit upon reentry.
  • Winter in Manitoba,  Canada in a pretzel log cabin
  • Play cello in pit orchestra for the off Broadway run of stage adaptation of Caligula
  • Assemble 3000 piece puzzle depicting the Cheyenne, Wyoming skyline using only the light from a single book of matches
  • Lobby Congress to have McDonald’s Mayor McCheese depicted on a US postage Stamp.
  • Beat Bill Gates in 3 out of 5 games of Chinese Checkers

by Eric Ruhalter, Author of The KidDictionary: Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids